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The KNOTORYUS 2017 Christmas Records Rating

Escort your usual playlist out of the doorway like “I don’t know her” to usher in the most anticipated guest of the year: holiday music! Obviously, your masterfully curated list “XMAS YAS YAS YAS” has been dug up and placed into heavy rotation the second Halloween turned its back to us. You’ve got the classics down. But what is 2017 serving up? Here are a few new lyrical logs to consider throwing onto your own fire mixes.


Dru Hill – “Christmas in Baltimore"

Tapping into the classic spirit of Yule but adding their signature slow jam stylings, Dru Hill’s “Christmas in Baltimore” album is a proper R&B addition to your fireplace love-making catalogue. It’s been nine years since the last Dru album but this release doesn’t let down. Sisqó, Jazz, Nokio and Tao will a bring a twinkling tear to every elderly family member’s eye as you blast them lines such as:

“T’is the season to turn up. Ferragamo, we gon’ party on the roof of my condo.”
“No reindeer but you always slay, baby you can take it off, issa holiday."
“Balenciagas on my feet, I would give it up. All I wanna do is get you home. I wanna wrap you up.”


The record starts off hot but peters out into less inspired territories in the middle before landing a few proper slow hits riding the tail end of the proverbial dragon.

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Highlights: “Favorite Time of Year”, “T’is the Season”, “Silent Night”
3,5/5 Candy Canes 


Sia – “Everyday is Christmas”

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth ‘cause I’m about to warble my way through this Sia “Everyday is Christmas” album. No greater family fun than imitating Sia's signature vocals while wrapping gifts. Yes, “Rednyellohanpinkangreenorangenpurpahlanblue” is one word.

When you give this record a listen, you’ll notice the slightly M. Night Shyamalan-sounding “Santa’s Coming For Us” is actually a dollop of exuberant joy and that most of this project is a high-fructose, supercharged treat. One you could probably only stomach in December. For grinchy types, the depressing “Snowman” - about a weeping snowman and freezing death - or the plaintive “Underneath The Christmas Lights” will do just fine.

Not every track will have you decking the halls with abandon, it gets pretty sad-face gingerbread biscuit near the end, but this record contains enough solid bops to guide you through the season. If you really can’t get enough, head to Brussels’ Grand-Place where the album is synched with an outdoor light show every evening until January 7.

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Highlights: “Candy Cane Lane”, “Puppies Are Forever”, “Santa’s Coming For Us”
3,9/5 Candy Canes 


Seal – “Standards”

Seal gives us holiday tunes crooner-style. He’s even got the loose bow tie - no fedora - down pat on the album cover. “Standards” will tide you over from Valentine’s till New Year’s Day with classics from the American songbook. Corner every market, Seal! Michael Bublé is sweating!

“Standards” is Nat King Cole smooth, goes down warm and tingly like egg nog with extra cloves. It’s ambiance, cocktail dresses and dinner jackets, small talk and friendly smiles. Basically everything that happens during the first hour of family holiday gatherings before total pandemonium sets in. It’s a lovely album, but only contains two actual Christmas songs so not an absolute winner for the season.

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Highlights: “My Funny Valentine”, “Let It Snow, Let It Snow”
3/5 Candy Canes 


ROC Nation – “A Very ROC Christmas”

James Fauntleroy, Yo Gotti, Fabolous, DJ Khaled, Justine Skye, Ella Mai and theirs send season’s greetings on “A Very ROC Christmas”. It’s part lit (“3 Kings”), part folksy (“Mother Christmas”) and part... James Fauntleroy. Not a completely coherent album, but a thoroughly modern addition to your holiday party. Justine Skye’s version of the 1934 tune “I Only Have Eyes For You” is perfect for a slow pan Instagram Story showing off your shiniest outfit.

Also, if the DJ Khaled track gets you in the holiday spirit, why not consider donating to baby Asahd’s UNICEF fund?

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Highlights: “Is It Morning Yet?”, “3 Kings”, “Eyes For You”
3,4/5 Candy Canes and like, half a slice of fruitcake 


DRAM - #1HAPPYHOLIDAY

The sweetest new offering this season comes from Big Baby DRAM and his mother, Gwen, on the 3-track “#1HAPPYHOLIDAY”. The pair reinterpret the classic ‘Silver Bells’ as ‘BigBabyMom’ sings to her heart’s content over a sparse bass and piano arrangement. I just love DRAM’s earnest approach to a holiday EP, as evidenced on his richly-voiced “The Christmas Song”. He imparts wisdom and tells us all to be thankful for every day while sipping on something undoubtedly heart-warming. It sounds like it probably took him 20 minutes to record this and somehow it turned out lovely.

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Highlights: all 3 songs
4/5 Candy Canes

Get festive and let us know which track gets top billing on your holiday playlist!

Image on top of this article features a sweater from the Beyoncé Holiday Capsule Collection