HOW NOT TO BE THE NEXT BIG THING IN 2010. AGAIN.

So you have the NME stamp of approval for 'next hype', fashion glossies describe your music as 'post-Timbaland punk', Hedi Slimane does your photography and you are commissioned to do the soundtrack for the Dior catwalk. How do you fuck up being the next big thing? It's not that hard. First you fight amongst yourselves and change your line-up. Then you refuse to talk about anything remotely understandable or entertaining in interviews. That was 2007 and 2008 for 'These New Puritans'. They'll have a new album out called 'Hidden' in January 2010. So will they make it this time? Hellz no. The first single off the album is 'We Want More'; it is more than seven minutes long, features a children's choir, a minute-long symphonic outro and the sound of a melon filled with cookies being smashed with a hammer to mimick the sound of a crushed human head. Radio-friendly unit shifter? No. Pretentious? Absolutely. Do I like it? Yes. Yes I do.